An Honest Conversation

It seems I've been unable to have an honest conversation with anyone these days, so I'm going to lay it all out right here.

I've worked my ass off in college, and have just below a fucking 3.9 GPA. Don't you dare talk to me about not staying the course and giving up, if you knew me at all you'd know I'm not going to. Even if I hate every second of it, I'll end these four years with a 3.8 at least even if it's pride alone driving me.

I know I'm supposed to want to stay in school forever and be some stuffy academic elitist, but maybe I don't want that. Maybe I don't care about fucking international relations. I'm not one of those people that posts political articles on Facebook every day so that I can feel smarter than everyone else. When I'm not working for a grade, I don't think much about world issues. Ok that's kind of a lie. It depends on the issue.

All I'm saying is, would it be so damn horrible if I became a housewife that wrote bad novels? Or a teacher in a Catholic high school? My parents tell me to do what makes me happy, but somehow I think that these options are unacceptable to them.

Bottom line is, there are very few things that I'm sure about. One of them is the man I want to marry, who I have been trying to prove my love to for 6 and a half years. The other is the grace and glory of God.

I'm getting a little sick of people thinking they know what I want, because I don't even know. I guess when it comes down to it, however, my fundamental desires are simple: to live a happy, healthy life with the man I love, and to do so favorably in the eyes of God to the best of my ability.

And what will that 3.9 GPA mean when I have achieved this?

NOTHING.